Surviving Divorce, Co-Parenting & Chaos with Zero Chill and a Whole Lot of Heart
**Picture of me and my current boyfriend! Not the ex. I’m happily moved on**
Wow. A blog?
At 32, semi-almost divorced, mama of twins, and feeling like I’m drowning most of the time… here I am, writing a blog.
And honestly? I didn’t think I’d ever be doing this. But life’s been a lot lately—and I need an outlet.
Why I’m Starting This Blog
Sure, I have specific things I want to write about. But mostly? I need a space to vent. To reflect. To be honest.
Therapy is great (shoutout to my biweekly lifeline), but when you’re living in constant conflict during a messy divorce? Biweekly ain’t enough.
By the time I get to therapy, I’ve experienced so much BS that I can’t even remember half of it—let alone process it. So this blog? This is my unfiltered place to process, connect, and be heard.
You’re Not Alone—Even If It Feels Like It
Let me just say this upfront: this isn’t a perfectly polished blog. It’s raw. It’s real. And yes, there will be cursing—because I’m tired of pretending life is anything but messy right now.
I’ve been dealing with:
• A high-conflict divorce
• Daily co-parenting drama
• ADHD routines that never seem to stick
• A house that’s often a disaster
• The feeling that I’m barely hanging on
And I know I’m not the only one.
So if you’re out there, going through something similar? You’re not alone.
Divorce is Not for the Weak—And No One’s Coming to Save You
If my divorce has taught me one thing, it’s this:
No one is going to save you.
Not your lawyer. Not the court. Not your family. And sure as hell not your ex.
You have to save yourself.
In July 2024, we filed. And here I am, writing this on the week of our first mediation session—with zero hope that it’ll be productive.
How I Learned to Advocate for Myself
Early in the process, I had to get a restraining order and have my husband removed from the home I own.
It was terrifying.
I felt alone, anxious, like no one believed me or would ever help me. But I did it. I saved myself.
Then came the legal fees.
I’m already $16,000 deep—and we’re not even close to done. We don’t even have assets to fight over. But the emotional and financial cost? It’s still enormous.
When the Legal System Lets You Down
Let me give you a real quote from my attorney (attorney #2, by the way):
“Well, you know, due to the little money that is available to the parties, let’s just keep this as economically feasible as possible.”
Umm… excuse me?!
My mental health and physical safety aren’t subject to budget cuts.
I felt let down. Again. As if enduring abuse is just the cost of doing business in a divorce when you’re not rich.
And that’s when it really hit me:
No one is coming to save me.
So, I did what I do best—I went full paralegal mode.
When You’ve Had Enough… You Take Back Control
I spent the weekend deep-diving into content from the amazing Samantha Boss, and I drafted a parenting plan that sets clear boundaries and safeguards for me and my kids.
I’ve been a paralegal for 11 years. I know how to research, write, and advocate. So I did it for myself.
If I’m just going to be seen as “too poor” to protect my rights? Fine. I’ll do it my damn self.
Life Still Feels Heavy—But I’m Rebuilding
Right now, I’m in survival mode.
I’ve been emotionally, mentally, and physically maxed out. I haven’t felt like a person in a while.
But that’s where I’m starting—getting back to feeling human.
✅ I just started a new job (literally today!)
✅ I’ve decluttered my home for the fourth time this year
✅ I’ve been deep-cleaning to create a fresh baseline
✅ I’ve built out custom ADHD-friendly routines with ChatGPT
✅ I’m honoring my Bipolar II diagnosis and working with what I have
And you know what? I already feel a little more like myself.
My Plan: Structure, Routine, and a Hell of a Lot of Self-Compassion
I’ve learned that even simple routines can make a huge difference—especially when your brain feels like a browser with 83 tabs open.
If you’re dealing with ADHD, mental health struggles, or just the overwhelming stress of divorce? Having a plan (even a loose one) can help.
Some Things Helping Me Right Now:
• Pre-bed unplug routines
• Visual to-do lists
• Task batching for low-energy days
• Morning check-ins with myself
• Letting go of perfection and just. doing. one. thing.
Let’s Build a Support System—Together
If you’re reading this and nodding along? I see you.
This blog is for us—the women who are surviving the chaos and trying to rebuild while holding it all together with duct tape and coffee.
Let’s cheer each other on. Let’s share routines, tips, and hard truths. Let’s build something real.
Drop a comment:
Tell me—what routines or habits are helping YOU right now? How are you showing up for yourself?
We’re in this together. 💛
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